so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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