i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize