dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
