I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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