do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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