You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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