I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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