I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it's like iHOP with fire
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
