i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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