I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
