I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
well you can't waste a boner
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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