oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
