and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize