Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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