.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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