I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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