I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
