what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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