yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
