hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
