If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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