I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize