How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
