I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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