Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
