You really coming over, don't trick.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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