His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
