Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize