youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
