just come out here and I will go home with you...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
