i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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