Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
