He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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