I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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