I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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