Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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