I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
