yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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