im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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