I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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