I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
God I need to hump something, right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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