I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
