i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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