the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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