You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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