i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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