dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
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