Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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