hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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