you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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