drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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