i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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