hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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