I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
