my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
