Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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