You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize