and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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