I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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